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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/25263637">With A Taste Of Nectar Upon His Lips</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/CathyFowl/pseuds/CathyFowl'>CathyFowl</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Dragon Age (Video Games), Dragon Age: Inquisition</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Ambiguous Inquisitor, Angst, First Kiss, Fluff, Fluff and Angst, Friends to Lovers, Halward Pavus' A+ Parenting, Hopeful Ending, Implied/Referenced Alcohol Abuse/Alcoholism, Jerk Inquisitor, Lyrium Withdrawal, M/M, Pining, Pre-Relationship</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-07-14</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-07-14</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-05 07:07:23</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Mature</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>2,108</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/25263637</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/CathyFowl/pseuds/CathyFowl</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>Cullen and Dorian sharing a first kiss under not so ideal circumstances.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Dorian Pavus/Cullen Rutherford</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>8</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>106</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Collections:</b></td><td>The Hanged Man First Anniversary</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>With A Taste Of Nectar Upon His Lips</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><ul class="associations">
      <li>For <a href="https://archiveofourown.org/users/enigmalea/gifts">enigmalea</a>.</li>



    </ul><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>An Anniversary Exchange fic for The Hanged Man server. The prompt was "Firsts".</p><p>For @enigmalea.</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Cullen was on his way to the Skyhold gardens, through the Rotunda when he heard Dorian and the Inquisitor exchanging some heated words upstairs in the library.</p><p>He didn't realize they had been back already from their mysterious trip to Redcliffe but even though they were arguing, he was relieved that both returned safely. He wondered what might have happened. The Inquisitor and Dorian rarely argued. Actually, they seemed to get along very well... maybe too well.</p><p>"Commander," Solas said, startling him out of his thoughts. "May I help you with anything?"</p><p>"No! N-no, I was just... Excuse me," Cullen said and hurried along on his way.</p><p> </p><p>It was several hours later that he was returning to his office. He had been derailed multiple times and finally ended up skipping dinner and choosing to collect his thoughts and seek guidance from the Maker instead in Skyhold's tiny chapel. The headache he was nursing since midday might have also played a role.</p><p>He made his way back through the now-abandoned Rotunda. All was quiet. It was late enough that even the ravens were fast asleep in their cages. Everyone had retired already.</p><p>Or maybe not everyone. Cullen was startled by the clinking of bottles and a soft crash followed by mumbled cursing, all coming from the library.</p><p>He decided to investigate.</p><p>Cullen was shocked to find Dorian, too drunk to stand without support, and having knocked over one of the towers of books he kept around his reading chair. Numerous empty bottles surrounded the mage as he struggled to stay on his feet. His decidedly sour mood was quickly masked by his usual flirtatious grin when he spotted Cullen.</p><p>"Oh, my dear Commander! How embarrassing. I hope I haven't been a cause for alarm..." Dorian sounded surprisingly clear, although the tiniest bit slower in his speech.</p><p>"You're drunk," Cullen stated the obvious.</p><p>"Why, yes," Dorian nodded and almost toppled. "I must admit, I was planning on drinking myself into a stupor tonight, but I've run out of wine and, well, I'm not quite in a state to fetch more."</p><p>He was surprisingly candid about it. It shocked Cullen. He'd never seen the mage so... he wasn't sure. Dorian was good at handling his alcohol, but Cullen suspected he drank more than he let on. To be this obvious about it though...</p><p>"What happened?" he asked before he could think better of it.</p><p>"My father happened, of course," Dorian said, straightening again and taking a few wobbly steps along the bookshelves. Cullen quickly ducked under one of his arms to support him. "Why, thank you, Commander."</p><p>"What did your father do?"</p><p>"<em>Before </em> sending a letter to the Inquisitor to try to get me back, or <em> after </em> he tried to use blood magic to change me?" Dorian chuckled without true mirth. "You see, my dear Commander, I prefer the company of men. Exclusively. It does not go down well in Tevinter... And now our beloved Inquisitor has rejected me too. It's rather fitting, don't you think?"</p><p><em> Maker's breath</em>. Cullen was left speechless and focused instead on helping Dorian to the door to Madame de Fer's balcony that led to the mages' quarters.</p><p>"I'm sorry, Dorian," he managed as they slowly made their way up the stairs.</p><p>"I do not want your pity, Commander," Dorian said cooly. "You can be honest. How vile I am, an "evil Tevinter Magister", "a Maker-damned degenerate", "a disappointment and disgrace". I'm quite used to it by now."</p><p>"Maker's breath, Dorian! I would never..."</p><p>"Ah, that's true," Dorian sighed. "You are too much of a knight in shining armor, <em> Ser</em>. Am I to be the damsel in distress then?"</p><p>"I don't know what exactly happened for you to be saying such things, Dorian," Cullen said. "But you're one of the bravest men I've ever met."</p><p>Dorian jerked them to a sudden stop.</p><p>"What?" He stared at Cullen in utter shock. Cullen felt his cheeks redden.</p><p>"I-I mean..." he cleared his throat awkwardly before continuing. "You've left your home country, risked your life to warn us at Haven, and joined the Inquisition even though it meant being surrounded by templars... I would like to think that I would've done the same in your position, but I'm not so sure," he finished and nudged them into motion again.</p><p>"That... is the nicest thing anyone has ever said to me," Dorian said then lapsed into a contemplative silence. </p><p>Arriving at his room, Cullen helped him inside only letting go of the other man after he was certain he could stand on his own. Dorian kicked off his boots, wobbling dangerously on his feet, making Cullen hesitate to leave him.</p><p>"Are you going to be alright?" Cullen asked.</p><p>"Oh yes," Dorian said brightly, fiddling with the buckles of his tunic. "I'll be just fine, as always, Commander."</p><p>Cullen watched him continue to struggle with those Maker-damned clasps, then sighed.</p><p>"Here, let me."</p><p>Dorian relinquished the stubborn buckles to the marginally more capable hands of the Commander.</p><p>"Why do you have more clasps on your tunic than me on my armor?" Cullen muttered as he fought against the stiffness of his fingers. "It seems unnecessarily complicated."</p><p>"It certainly comes in handy to get our dashing Commander to fawn over me," Dorian said in a deep, seductive tone.</p><p>"What?" Cullen looked up, startled, a new blush already starting to colour his cheeks.</p><p>He was even more shocked when Dorian leaned forward, closing the remaining distance between them, and kissed him. He froze for a moment, the other man taking advantage of his surprise to slip his tongue past Cullen's lips. <em> Maker! </em></p><p>Dorian tasted as sweet as the wine he'd been drinking. Without thinking, Cullen returned the kiss, deepening it, while his hands snaked around Dorian's waist of their own accord, pulling him closer.</p><p>It was the unrestrained moan from Dorian, and what it did to Cullen, that jerked him back to reality. This was wrong. Dorian was drunk and he was taking advantage! He broke away with a sigh of regret.</p><p>"We should stop," Cullen whispered, leaning their foreheads together, unable to let go of the other man just yet. "You are not... we shouldn't-"</p><p>"Are you afraid to ruin my reputation, my dear Commander?" Dorian teased. "I can assure you there's nothing left to sully." Then he took a sudden step away from Cullen. "Or are you worried about yours? Do excuse my forwardness in that case," Dorian said mockingly.</p><p>"No- That's not-... Dorian, you are drunk. You need rest," Cullen managed, rubbing the back of his neck in embarrassment. He didn't know what to do with his suddenly empty hands. He had no idea how to deal with this situation.</p><p>"Fair enough," Dorian agreed and waved Cullen away. "I'll manage the rest, thank you."</p><p>Cullen nodded stiffly, but still hesitated at the door, glancing back to make sure Dorian managed to get himself in his bed. He caught a glimpse of Dorian's flawless dark olive skin disappearing under the wine-coloured sheets and it was enough to send Cullen fleeing from the room.</p><p>He paused just outside, leaning heavily against the closed door, to gather his composure. What was he doing? He was the Commander of the Inquisition. He was not supposed to indulge in romantic relationships. He wasn't even sure Dorian was looking for more than the momentary distraction from his troubles.</p><p>Cullen shook his head to clear it and left the mages' quarters. He was in deep thought all the way back to his office, his headache long forgotten.</p><p> </p><p>***</p><p> </p><p>Cullen barely slept that night and so ended up being short-tempered and irritable the next day. Even Cassandra looked in on him and after some choice words exchanged, left reassured that he was not suffering from withdrawals. <em>This time</em>.</p><p>He wanted to check on Dorian, make sure he was okay. But his work kept him busy all through the morning, and he couldn't quite work up the courage to face the mage anyways. Not after that kiss...</p><p>He buried his face in his hands with a sigh. He couldn't stop thinking about the taste of Dorian's lips, about the feel of his body in his arms.</p><p>A knock jerked Cullen out of his reverie. It was rare that somebody knocked on the doors to his office, most runners knew to just enter and wait for his attention inside if needed.</p><p>"Come in," he said.</p><p>To Cullen's surprise, it was Dorian who entered, with his usual flair and bravado. He looked himself again. Gone was the uncertainty and despair from his eyes and even his colouring looked better, which was reassuring.</p><p>"Good morning, Commander," he said cheerfully. "I hope you slept well. I will only take up a moment of your time. I would like to apologise for any inconvenience I may have caused you last night. I must admit I remember only bits and pieces of what happened, but I do think an apology is in order. I'm grateful for the aid you've rendered me and, hopefully, I won't cause such a scene again." Dorian finished with a short bow.</p><p>"D-dorian, it's past noon... Are you sure you're alright?" Cullen stuttered and stood hesitantly from his chair.</p><p>Dorian looked out the window casually observing the position of the sun.</p><p>"So it is," he said airily. "I'm fine, Commander. Although I must admit it's rather touching that you worry about me..." he trailed off as Cullen came around his desk to stand in front of the mage. "Are <em> you </em> alright, Commander? You look a bit... lost. If you forgive my forwardness."</p><p>Cullen hesitated. Did Dorian not remember what happened last night? Or was the kiss so inconsequential to him that he didn't even deem it important to mention? Maybe he regretted it and just wanted to forget.</p><p>Cullen barely managed to stop his thoughts from spiralling further. Instead, he gathered his courage and just asked.</p><p>"Do you remember what exactly happened last night?"</p><p>Dorian's eyes widened for a moment, then he looked away.</p><p>"I don't know what you mean, Commander," he said but refused to meet Cullen's eyes. "I already apologised for making a fool of myself. I don't know what else-"</p><p>Cullen took a step closer, effectively closing the distance between them. Dorian glanced up in surprise. His usual smirk quickly returned, however, and he took a breath to say something, but Cullen cut him off.</p><p>"Do you regret the kiss?" he asked.</p><p>Dorian's usual mask of confidence disappeared, giving way to a more honest expression.</p><p>"I apologise if I have offende-"</p><p>"That's not an answer," Cullen pressed.</p><p>Dorian sighed.</p><p>"I only regret if it cost our friendship. I hate to admit but it seems I'm rather in short supply of those," he said. "I'd hate to lose my favourite chess partner, at least."</p><p>"I don't think our friendship needs to end," Cullen said, suddenly feeling emboldened. "My only regret is that we had our first kiss in such circumstances. Perhaps we could give it another try? After dinner, maybe?"</p><p>Dorian's surprise was almost comical.</p><p>"You... Commander, are you asking me on a date?"</p><p>"Only if you stop calling me by my title, and start calling me by my name," Cullen teased.</p><p>"Are you sassing me, Commander?" Dorian chuckled. "I didn't know you had it in you."</p><p>"Is that a 'no'?" Cullen asked pointedly.</p><p>Dorian laughed with open delight.</p><p>"Forbid the thought! I'm very much looking forward to sharing dinner with you, <em> Cullen</em>," he said, emphasising the use of Cullen's name. "And a chance at making a better impression of my skills," he added suggestively.</p><p>Cullen felt his cheeks heat with the inevitable blush at Dorian's words and had to clear his throat before answering.</p><p>"I'd like that," he said, returning Dorian's bright smile with his own. "I'd very much like that."</p><p>He cautiously wound his arms around the mage's waist and gave him a gentle hug. He only let go when a runner burst through the other door to his office with a missive in hand. Even then, Cullen held on just long enough to make a point to Dorian that he was not ashamed of him and their possible relationship.</p><p>"At eight bells then?" He asked reluctantly letting go of Dorian.</p><p>Dorian searched his eyes for a moment, his gaze flicking to the embarrassed runner, who was pointedly studying the floor, and back to Cullen. He smiled even brighter than before.</p><p>"Yes," Dorian nodded. "Looking forward to it." He winked and left.</p><p>It took Cullen some time to get his mind back on work, but he still had a smile on his face for the rest of the day.</p><p><br/>
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